


Strange Serpents There

by MagnetoTheMagnificent



Series: Snektember 2020 [2]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Antony and Cleopatra, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Grumpy Crowley (Good Omens), Historical, Historical References, Insecure Crowley (Good Omens), Other, References to Shakespeare, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:15:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26323252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnetoTheMagnificent/pseuds/MagnetoTheMagnificent
Summary: Aziraphale asks Crowley for a favour, of which he is reluctant to fulfill.Written for @puppy-bums 's Snektember prompt: Snekspeare
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Snektember 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912714
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Strange Serpents There

“No, angel, absolutely not,” Crowley said firmly, shaking his head adamantly.

Aziraphale pouted.

“Please! It would mean so much to Will, not to mention to me,” he pleaded, clasping his hands. 

Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Aziraphale, I do not want him to get the wrong idea. Have you even _read_ the sonnets he wrote about me?!”*

The angel chuckled. 

“Of course I’ve read them, you daft boy. He was quite taken with you,” he smirked, waggling his eyebrows.

“More like obsessed,” Crowley grumbled. 

“But now he has Billy, dear. And besides, he wouldn’t know that it’s you. You would just be another snake,” Aziraphale reminded him.

“I’m not even an asp, angel. ‘M a coral snake**,” Crowley hissed. 

“I don’t think Will cares, dear. He just needs any snake, and it’s not like he can easily find one,” Aziraphale replied, pouring Crowley another drink. 

“This is stupid, Aziraphale. It’s not even an historically accurate play. There was never any _love_ involved, and he did Cleopatra dirty by reducing her to some lovesick maiden,” the demon muttered, downing his drink in one shot. 

“I know, dear,” Aziraphale sighed, shaking his head fondly. 

Crowley burped. 

“If I do this for you, angel, you owe me another temptation,” he finally said, adjusting his collar. 

“Of course, dear,” Aziraphale nodded excitedly. 

“And this is a one-time thing, Aziraphale. ‘M not your pet serpent that you can lend out to every playwright who sparks your fancy,” Crowley added. 

“Naturally,” Aziraphale affirmed, smiling. 

“Oh, thank you, dear boy!” he exclaimed, hugging the demon gratefully. 

“Oi! Don’t go around bein’ all thankful an’ stuff. What about my reputation?” Crowley protested, wriggling against the angel’s strong embrace. 

“Sod your reputation, Crowley. You know full well that you deserve to be thanked,” Aziraphale tutted, pulling away with a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Crowley ducked his head, looking away to hide the scales that were forming from his embarrassment. Aziraphale blushed, holding his hands to his chest. 

“I can’t thank you enough, Master Fell,” Will told Aziraphale, handing him a very grumpy snake in a basket. 

“Oh, it’s nothing, Will, really. I’m always happy to help,” Aziraphale beamed, peaking into the basket. 

The snake, Crowley, glared at him. 

“Really, I’ve never met a snake as tame as this one. He was so well-behaved. Wherever did you find him?” Will asked. 

“Err….a garden?” Aziraphale answered awkwardly. 

“He’s so docile. I’m sure the snake enthusiasts would love to get a hold on a snake like this one. Have you ever considered breeding him?”

From inside the basket, Crowley hissed angrily. 

“Oh, I don’t think he’d want to breed,” Aziraphale chuckled uneasily. 

“Well, I’m sure you know best. Once again, thank you so much,” the playwright smiled. 

“Of course. Goodnight!”

“Take care, Fell.”

Back at Aziraphale flat, Crowley slithered out of his basket to wrap around the angel’s neck. 

“If you even think of breeding me, Azzziraphale, I will disssssscorporate you mysssself,” he hissed in Aziraphale’s ear threateningly. 

Aziraphale giggled, easily pulling Crowley off of him and holding him up. The snake snapped and rattled his tail, only causing Aziraphale to laugh more. 

“Tame?! Docccccile?! Did you even hear the injusssstice?!” Crowley snarled, flicking his tongue. 

Aziraphale snickered, placing Crowley on the table. 

“For what it’s worth, darling, I think you make a wonderful actor,” he told him, petting his head. 

“Bah! All I did was slither around on stage,” Crowley pouted.

“You were wonderful, dear. Very foreboding,” Aziraphale assured him. 

“The things I do for you, angel,” Crowley shook his head, feigning annoyance. 

“I know, dear. And I appreciate it.”

“I hate this form,” Crowley whined. 

“Well, I have your clothes here so you can smell them and remember how to turn back,” Aziraphale replied calmly, placing the demon’s neatly folded clothes on the table. 

“Call me tame, Aziraphale, and I’ll bite you,” Crowley warned, slithering across the fabric.

**Author's Note:**

> *My headcanon is that Crowley is the Dark Lady from Shakespeare's sonnets. My fic 'Making an Ass of U and Me' has a chapter dedicated to this.  
> **Crowley still thinks he's a Coral Snake. He's not, he's a Scarlet Kingsnake, as per my headcanon, but he doesn't know it yet, still under the impression that he's venomous.


End file.
